Dr House Takes A Road Trip
by roadrunner010
Summary: Shouldn't the title suit you? HouseCameron. Rating pumped up to M just to be safe. LOSTHouse crossover
1. Prologue

Dr. House Takes a Road Trip

Summary: Self-explanatory.

Rating: G to PG to PG-13

Genre: Humor/Adventure/Romance.

Notes to Note: In this time line Foreman is not boss.

Prologue

Dr. James Wilson sat in his office, unsuccessfully trying to twirl House's cane. A knock came from the door, causing him to launch the cane to the corner of the room with a "damn!". Allison Cameron poked her head in and asked, "Where's Dr. House?"

"You are asking his best friend, nice tactics." Wilson replied with a smug smile on his face. "Am I his keeper?"

"Most of the time." Cameron said, stepping in. "Where is he?"

"Wilson sighed. "Away."

"Be more specific." she shot back, walking over and picking up House's cane. "You have House's cane so House must be close. I would have seen him hobbling away."

"Why does everyone come to me for House?" Wilson asked, not expecting an answer.

TBC


	2. Dr House Rounds Them Up

Dr. House Takes a Road Trip

Summary: Self-explanatory. Prequil to LOST crossover. Minor LOST crossover. Later in the story though.

Rating: G to PG to PG-13

Genre: Humor/Adventure/Romance.

Notes to Note: In this time line Foreman is not boss. Mild House/Cameron. Maybe not as long as I would have hoped. Hope you like!

* * *

Chapter I - Dr. House Rounds Them Up

"Look at them, they think I'm a patient." Dr. Greg House said grimly, limping beside Foreman.

"Then wear a white coat like us." Foreman muttered.

"Gah, I hate this damn cane." House said, practically hissing.

"Why am I here?" Foreman asked.

"Because it's always good to have a black guy when you're spying." House replied, rounding a corner.

"You're spying?"

"Did I say that?" House said, stopping.

"Well...yeah." Foreman said, standing beside him. "Where's your new cane?"

"Wilson."

"Why?"

"To deter my pursuers!" House said, limping to a door and looking through the wired window. Stacy, his ex, looked at the door. There was an immediate reaction. She groaned and looked down at the floor.

House chuckled. "Damn..." he muttered, smiling. "Wait here." He opened the door and went in. Everybody looked up suddenly, and there was an obvious sigh and mutter. Dr. Harper immediately jerked her head up.

"We're in a session, here, Dr. House." she said.

"Yeah, I noticed." he said. "What you didn't notice is I has a hurt hand, a bum leg, and a old cane. I'm pissed off about that."

"Not this again!" Mark burst out.

"Not again, Dr-"

"Gregg!" Stacy said from behind Mark. "What do you need?" Mark looked up at her like she was crazy.

"I need you." House dead panned. They stared. "Stacy, may I talk to you? Pwetty, pwetty. Pwetty, pwetty, pwetty-"

"Shut up!" Stacy interrupted. He did, smirking. She looked down at Mark. "I'll be right back." She walked towards House and added as she pasted, "This had better be good."

Foreman was nowhere to be seen.

"Why are you here?" she asked as soon as the door was shut.

"I want to jump you." he said, looking back through the door's window.

"You're sick."

"Thank you."

"Why?"

"You, me, Wilson, and Cameron are going on a road trip."

"What?" she asked, surprised. "Why?"

"Cuz." he said. "No Marks, boyfriends, or girlfriends." He grinned.

* * *

Wilson's office phone rang. Cameron and Wilson both looked at it.

"It's House." Wilson said, reaching over an putting it on speaker phone.

"Dr. James Wilson." he said.

"Muhahaha!" came House's eerie laugh. "I have her!" Wilson cocked an eyebrow. "Have you caught Allison.?" He pronounce Allison like "A-listen".

"Nope." Wilson said, leaning back in his chair. "Who'd you catch?"

"Yo Mamma." House said. They heard a grunt in the background.

"That's nice, what'd you do-pull her from the grave?" Wilson asked.

"I caught Stacy." House said, a ding in the background. "She's tied to my chair in my office ready to go spread eagle on the floor." His voice faded. "Wait the floor was too hard last time wasn't it? How 'bout-ow! You've been-OW! Stop working out! My God..." After a sigh, he continued, "Do you have an idea where Ally might be?"

"Check the lab." Wilson said, glancing up at Cameron.

"Right outside of it. Only a few dull interns."

"Your office?"

"Like I said, only Stacy's in there, ready to be fucked!" There was a quiet thud then silence.

"You okay?" Wilson asked.

The door swung open, Cameron jumped and Wilson immediately had the receiver on his ear. There stood House, looking down at Wilson's desk.

"She was here." he said. He turned to Stacy. "Wait outside." He limped in and shut the door.

"Who?"

"Don't be a dumbass." he replied, sitting down in a chair. "Cameron."

"Oh." Wilson said. "How do you know?"

"Her wonderful perfume." House replied. "Makes me wanna jump her-"

"You can't jump." Wilson pointed out.

House stared at him. "Niiiiice. . ." He glanced to his right. "Where's my cane?"

"I don't-" A cane landed in Wilson's lap. "I do have your cane."

"Gimme." Wilson tossed to him. House placed it between his legs.

"Why?" Wilson asked.

"An infarction. Only-"

"Not that. Why are we going?" he interrupted. "Why them?"

"It's an-"

"-experiment, yeah."

"No. Pervert."

"What?"

"I just like their pretty little faces."

Wilson said nothing.

"You coming or are you gonna scamper back to Julie?"

"No, she's in a bad mood."

"Well, then. Cameron, what do you say?" House asked, looking over at her. "YAY or nay?"

tbc


	3. Dr House Makes Out

Dr. House Takes a Road Trip

Summary: Self-explanatory. Prequil to LOST crossover. Minor LOST crossover. Later in the story though.

Rating: PG to PG-13

Genre: Humor/Adventure/Romance.

Notes to Note: In this timeline Foreman is not boss. House/Cameron.

* * *

Chapter 2 - Dr. House Makes Out three days later

Cameron walked to her car; a quiet grunt alerted her to her boss's presence. She cursed to herself and turned to see House hobbling towards her, wearing just a light jacket(which he looked perfect in, by the way). Mocking annoyance, she said, " Planning on following me home, Dr. House?"

House didn't reply until he was on the other side of her car. "I wanted to help you pack." he replied from the passenger side of the car.

"I'm capable enough." she said.

"No you're not. Let's go." House pursued.

"Whatever. Get in." Cameron said, rolling her eyes.

"Goodie."

* * *

Cameron opened the door and walked in, followed by House. He glanced around and licked his lips. "Nice place." he said.

"It's actually dirtier than it usually is." she replied, a half-smile on her face. "Come on, my room is this way." She walked towards her bedroom, slowly followed by House. His eyes glided over her body, a smug grin forming at his lips. She walked into the roomand looked over her shoulder. "Will this lead to something?" she asked, stopping.

House snapped out of his trance. "Dr. Allison Cameron, how dare you think so dirty a thought!" he exclaimed. "I should be the one asking that."

"Huh? Why?" she asked, walking over to the closet and opening it.

"Well..." House started with a deep breath, "...the way you said which way your room was, the way you walked, and quickly you folded earlier. Oh! And Peaches and Cream playing lightly on the radio."

"I turned it off!" she countered.

"Uh, yeah, at the end." he said, smiling in victory. "And your new tight jeans. One size down maybe."

"Shut up!" she snapped, feigning anger.

House scoffed. "Don't get your panties in a very nice wad." he said, examining a pair of velvetpanties hanging out of a almost open drawer. He limped to her bed and sat, rubbing his leg. He pulled out his pill bottle, opened it, and spilled a pill onto his hand.

"How would you know what my panties look like?" she asked, pulling out a small step ladder.

"Besides the open drawer, your new tight jeans you are wearing at this moment." he replied, popping the pill into his mouth and swallowing. She gasped quietly, ran over to the drawer, and shoved it closed.

"Victoria's Secret. What's her secret, I wonder." he said, "Her amazing breasts, maybe."

"You're still an ass." she said, walking back over to the closet.

"Who puts their suitcases in a closet?" he asked, standing up and making his way over to her.

She stepped up onto the top step of the step ladder and reached up to the top. "Me."

"Ha. No wonder." he said, standing behind her. "Need help?"

She grunted. "No." She grabbed the suitcase and pulled hard. It came loose and she fell back into House's waiting arms, now facing him. His cane was on the floor. And soon was her suitcase. They were suddenly in a kiss, both their eyes closed. The kiss became more deeper, more passionate. With a sigh, she broke the kiss and put her forehead against his.

_TBC_


	4. Dr Chase and Dr Foreman Meet Dr Shepard

**Chapter 3 - Dr Chase and Dr. Foreman Meet Dr. Shepard**

Chase and Foreman stepped out of the elevator into the hospital.

"Did you get their flight number?" Foreman asked, looking over at Chase.

"Uh huh... flight 666 from L.A." Chase replied, looking at the small, crumpled up paper. "It'll touch down with House and his mates within the nextfour days."

"'House and his mates?'" Foreman repeated.

"I'm Australian!" Chase exclaimed, rounding a corner with Foreman. They were in a hospital in Sydney, Australia. "And I'm in Australia. The best place to unleash my Aussie vocabulary."

That little tidbit of information was correct. They were on a site-seeing and famous doctor stalking trip in Sydney, Australia together. They would meet with House and his mates, do the tourist thing with them, then leave on a flight back to L.A. the next day.

Foreman chuckled and stopped a nurse. "Um, excuse me, but have you seen Dr. Jack Shepard?"

She nodded. "Um, yeah, he's in the morgue." she said.

"Thanks." Chase said. They walked down a hall, made a right, then entered a hall with rows of silver doors.

"The morgue?" Chase said questionably.

"Nice morgue." Foreman said.

"We should have one like this." Chase said.

"Dead people don't care, Chase."

"That's him." they heard from an open door. The voice sounded troubled. Then, a distraught Dr. Jack Shepard emerged from behind that open door and walked towards Foreman and Chase and the exit.

"Um, Dr. Shepard?" Foreman said, stepping in front of Jack.

"Yeah, what is it?" Jack asked, seemingly in a hurry.

"We're doctors from New Jersey," Chase said, "I'm Dr. Chase, and this is Dr. Foreman. We wanted to talk to you."

"Now's not a good time." Jack said, pushing past them.

"Wait, can we just have a word with you?" Foreman asked.

Jack nodded slowly. "Sure. I hope you didn't travel all this way just for me."

"No." Chase said.

Foreman shook his head, grinning. "Not at all."

"I'm almost flattered, gentlemen." Jack said.


	5. Killer Books, Boring Signs, and Milson

Dr. House Takes a Road Trip

Summary: Self-explanatory. Prequil to LOST crossover. Minor LOST crossover. Later in the story though.

Rating: PG to PG-13

Genre: Humor/Adventure/Romance.

Notes to Note: In this time line Foreman is not boss. House/Cameron. Relatively short.

* * *

Chapter 4 - So It Begins

"Did ya'll pack short sleeves?" House asked, limping into the conference room and the hospital. Cameron followed him, looking tired. Stacy and Wilson sat at the table. "Wake up, sleepies!"

"It's 4:42 in the morning." Stacy said quietly.

"And you were supposed to be here at 4:23." Wilson added.

"Why do we have to leave so early, Gregg?" Cameron asked, starting to brew some coffee.

Wilson was smiling.

"It takes a while to get to GSP airport, my friends!" House replied, sitting down. He sighed, and looked and Stacy and Cameron. He slammed his cane down onto the table. Wilson flinched, Cameron nearly spilled hot water, and Stacy jumped.

"Son of a bitch!" Wilson said, laughing.

"Where the hell is GSP airport at anyway?" Stacy asked.

"Greenville-Spartanburg Airport." Wilson said, recovering from his laughing fit.

"The Smiley State!" House declared, drumming his fingers on the table.

"South Carolina." Wilson translated. Cameron and Stacy stared.

"My guy knows a guy who knows a guy who know the wife of a guy who flies a new public jet which we are going to take off in one we're at GSP."

"I paid for it." Wilson said, after a moment.

* * *

"So your guy couldn't just fly here?" Stacy asked from the backseat of Wilson' car. Cameron agreed. 

"That would cost more." House said, turning the car onto the highway. "Wouldn't want to waste money, huh?"

"Well...but..." Stacy sighed.

"Aw, this is fun!" he said, flipping on the radio. "Hey, Ally! It's your favorite song. Peaches and Cream." She smiled slightly then looked disgusted. Wilson, who was in the passenger seat, changed the radio. "You're bringing me down, Jimmy."

* * *

Cameron opened the book she had brought along and started reading, even though her mind was elsewhere. House had only called her Ally once- no twice. The first he had moaned it. Then, he had called her it when they were eating. 

They had shared secret smiles from the moment they had arrived at the hospital in remembrance of the night before. But, somewhere in her head, she knew he'd call it a one night stand and forget about it the next time she was only with him. Thank God only she and House knew.

* * *

"Question nineteen." Wilson said. "Does Cameron have a cute butt?" 

Cameron's head jerked up from her book. She asked, "What?"

"I always thought so." House said, grinning.

Cameron attacked him with her book.

* * *

House had now switched places with Wilson, then switched places with Stacy. He supported his head with his fist as he looked out the window. He watched the cheerful "Welcome to South Caroline!" sign go past. A DeLorian passed them. 

"Hey, look!" he burst out, pointing.

There came a chorus of what's.

"A really old car." he exclaimed. "I love it."

They sighed collectively.

* * *

House nearly kicked the car door off with his good leg as he got out of the car. "Goddamn thing." he muttered, and hit the tire with his cane. Wilson and Cameron followed House into the gas station as Stacy filled up the car. Night was falling. He limped through the doors and said, "Wilson, go do something over there." He pointed towards the bathrooms. 

"Why?" Wilson asked.

"You really stunk up the car a few minutes ago." House said. Wilson sighed and headed towards the bathrooms.

"About freakin' time." Cameron said, walking next to House as he made his way to the drinks.

"Yeah, I was trying to get rid of him." House said as he opened the door and pulled out a drink. Cameron grabbed the same thing. House threw his good arm around her waist and pulled her in for a kiss. She kissed back, and slightly opened one eye. Wilson was coming out of the bathroom.

"Milson!" she said against House's mouth. He broke the kiss and coughed to the side.

House was driving again with Cameron his the passenger side seat. It was their second day. They had stopped out a crappy apartment place and stayed the night.

* * *

"You missed the exit." Stacy pointed out sheepishly. 

"Nah." House said, with both hands on the steering wheel and looking around. "Oh, shit, I did!" The car's engine roared underneath the hood and House accelerated through the grassy median on the exit to the airport. "See. Ha!"

"Never doubt a cripple's driving ability." Wilson said from the back. The bridge he was going over was new; the flowers and small trees, male pear trees, planted on the sides of the exits new also.

"It's beautiful." Cameron said.

"It's new." Wilson said.

House spoke. "It's GSP."


	6. Dana, GSP, and Bulimia

Dr. House Takes a Road Trip

Summary: Self-explanatory. Prequil to LOST crossover. Minor LOST crossover. Later in the story though.

Rating: PG to PG-13

Genre: Humor/Adventure/Romance.

Notes to Note: In this time line Foreman is not boss. House/Cameron.

* * *

Chapter 5 - Dana, GSP, and Bulimia

Gregg House pushed open the door and limped outside. The garden was the best place to watch planes take off and land, complete with two pools of water and a fountain in the center. He stood looking down at the steps.

"What's wrong with your legs?" asked a quiet, girlish voice from beside him. He looked over to see a woman in her twenties, at least, sitting on the steps.

"Woah." he muttered. "Expected to see a teen."

"I get that a lot. It gets annoying sometimes." she said. "Name's Dana. Dana Bacher."

"Gregg House."

"Nice to meet you." Dana said.

House shrugged in reply.

"What's wrong with your leg?"

"Infarction in my thigh muscle. I hoped I was dying." House said, grimacing. He grinned and pulled out his pill bottle. "I get to eat these! If you really annoy me or..." He quickly looked her over. "...or get me horny..." He glanced inside at Cameron through the glass, who was sitting in between Wilson and Stacy. "...I'll reacher for these. " She laughed and looked out at the runway.

"Where you heading?" she asked.

"Las Vegas."

* * *

Cameron and Wilson stood watching the digital map and the information board.

"Damn it." Wilson muttered. "He's delayed."

"Well, there is a clump of thunderstorms over there-right in his path." Cameron said.

"Of course." he said. He glanced around. "Did House go to the bar?"

"He's outside, talking to someone." Stacy said, looking up from her magazine. "Some girl."

Cameron immediately looked.

"Ha." Wilson walked towards House. His cell phone suddenly rang and he pulled it out of his pocket; it was actually Houses cell phone. Cuddy. He flipped it open and pressed the green button. "Yello?"

"House?" Cuddy asked.

"Wilson. What is it?" Wilson asked.

"House has a patient."

* * *

"Where are you going?" House asked.

"Australia." Dana replied. "My son's blind, we may have found a cure or something to help him."

"And where is this son?"

"Inside with a friend."

House looked her over again. Beautiful eyes, cute...pants, beautiful hair, and a wonderful personality.

"House!" Wilson said, bursting through the glass doors.

"Jimmy!" House exclaimed, popping a vicoden pill into his mouth.

"Who?" Dana asked, looking over her shoulder.

"You have patient." Wilson said, with his hands on his hips.

"Huh. Symptoms?" House replied.

"Um, pain in his abdomen, one testicle is smaller than the other-"

"When'd he find out?" He asked, interrupting.

"Sex, he noticed blood in his sem-"

"Testicular cancer. Boring. Send him to Dr. Wolfe and start him on chemo." he interrupted.

Wilson nodded and walked back in, dialing a number into House's cell phone.

"What was that about?" Dana asked.

A plane landed on the runway.

House slowly sat down next to her. "We're doctors. I can't seem to escape my doom."

She grinned. A girl walked out and said, "Dana, your flight is here."

"Nat?" Dana asked.

The girl pointed. "Waiting." With that, she walked back in.

"Well, that's my flight." Dana said, standing up and brushing her hands off on her rear end. "Nice talking with you." She held out her hand.

House shook it, "Same here." He unconsciously bit his lip quickly.

For Dana, time seemed to slow as she walked his lips. Lip biting turned her on. She gasped quickly and the temperature rose for her. She returned to real time. "Uh, can I get your phone number?"

* * *

"She made him laugh." Cameron pointed out.

"Amazing." Wilson said, "I made him laugh."

They looked at him.

"They're flirting." Stacy said, motioning towards Dana. She had her hands in her back jean pockets.

House held out his cane and she took it.

"What the hell's he doing?" Wilson asked quietly. House pulled out a receipt and a pen and jotted down something. He gave her the receipt and she put it in her pocket then patted it. He grinned again and said something, making her laugh. She gave him his cane, opened the jacket he was wearing and pulled a card out of an inner pocket. She held out her hand and House gave her the pen. She jotted something down then gave it to him.

"I'll be damned." Wilson said, smirking.

"What?" Stacy and Cameron asked.

"They exchanged phone numbers."

Cameron sunk back into her seat.

* * *

"Goodbye, Dana Bacher." House said, open the door for her.

She smiled, blushed, and nodded.

"See you later, Dr. House." she replied, stepping into the airport. She gave him a tempting smile then walked to her son. He watched her go, a sinking feeling in his stomach. He turned to look at Cameron, who was staring at him. He looked down then nodded and limped towards them.

"Is anyone here a doctor? Anyone!" a man yelled, running into the terminal. House limpd past Cameron, Wilson, and Stacy and asked the man, "What's wrong?"

"My daughter, she threw up. Can you help me?" the man pleaded.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." House muttered, limping the way the man came.

"Right there." the man said, pointing towards a high school girl, a senor, on her knees in the bar.

"Ew." House said, looking a the vomit.

"Daddy, I told you not to get me a doctor!" she wined. She wore a low-cut shirt, tight around her waist.

"Baby fat." House said, poking her side with his cane. "Did your boyfriend leave you in the middle of sex?"

"What? N-no." she replied timidly.

"Is he gentle?"

"Are you made fun of?" House continued.

"No, not really."

"Is the loving daddy diddling you?"

"No!" she and her dad replied.

"You're bulimic." House determined. "You have a hickey on your neck and dried tear streaks on your face. Get on a diet and stop shoving your fingers down your throat. You're messing up your heart."

"Wait, how-"

"And go make up with you boyfriend." House nodded slightly then left the bar. He limped in and sat next to Wilson. "I just can't get away from my job!"

_TBC_


	7. In The Air

Dr. House Takes a Road Trip

Summary: Self-explanatory. Prequil to LOST crossover. Minor LOST crossover. Later in the story though.

Rating: PG to PG-13, now risen to M, just to be safe.

Genre: Humor/Adventure/Romance.

Notes to Note: In this time line Foreman is not boss. House/Cameron.

Chapter 6 - In the Air

house sat in his seat, his cane taking up the seat next to him. Cameron had boarded with him and now sat a few rows ahead of him. A pregnant woman, at least in her twenties, sat in the seat across from him. He glanced at her, then at her enlarged stomach.

"Traveling in your 3rd trimester isn't really-" House started.

"Encouraged, I know." she finished. "What are you, some sort of-"

"Doctor? Yes. Gregory House, MD." he said.

"Stephanie O'Brian." she said.

"Where you heading?'

"L.A., to another flight, then to Australia."

Wilson and Stacy boarded.

"LA? You must be on the wrong flight." House said, smiling slightly. Wilson grabbed House's cane and dumped it in his lap. "Thank you, Jimmy, for waking up my di-"

"House, be quiet." Wilson said, sitting down.

"The pilot is flying me to LA after we land in Las Vegas." Stephanie said, ignore Wilson.

House nodded in reply.

"Why Australia?" he asked.

"My husband and his brother are there." she replied.

* * *

The twin engines of the small jet could be heard through the fuselage as House stared out the window at the Oceanic Airlines symbol on the edge of the wing. His mind was anywhere but on the plane. He could rip his mind away from thoughts of Dana Bacher, at least not without a lot of screaming and kicking. She infiltrated his mind like a Spec Ops team on Red Bull. It couldn't compare to Stacy. Or Cameron for that matter. His mind suddenly flashed to a video clip from the night before last with Cameron. He grinned a knowing grin.

"You're thinking." Wilson pointed out. "About what? Or whom?"

House looked over at him. "Yo mamma." He snatched his cane away from Wilson, stood up, and limped down a row or two to Cameron.

"Hello, sweetums." House said to Cameron quietly. "Is this seat taken?" He motioned with his cane to the seat next to her.

She grinned and shook her head. He limped past her and sat.

"How are you, House?" Cameron asked.

"Fine." House replied.

"Who were you talking to back at the airport?"

"Dana?" he said, with a smug smirk. "I bit my lip and she asked for my number. Go figure."

"You gonna call her?" she asked.

"She has a son. And I have you and a dozen other hookers." he said with a smile. "So, no."

She smiled back and looked out the window.

"Is everything alright?"

"House, I'm sorry. I'm not used to you acting this way. Especially to me." she said, looking at him.

House leaned back in his seat and stretched, rubbing his bum leg. "Don't get used to it."

* * *

Wilson watched them continue to talk, examining the way House moved and smiled and talked and laughed. Wilson had seen him act that way around Stacy before he had told Wilson that he and Stacy were getting married. Wilson's head was fun of questions. Or, at least half-full of questions. What had happened the morning both House and Cameron were late? What was going on between them? Why, why, why? What, what, what?

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and unbuckled his seatbelt. The door to the cockpit creaked open and out came the co-pilot. He walked past Wilson and slipped behind a curtain. Wilson stood up, walked to the cockpit and went in.

"Hello, captain. How are we doing?" he greeted the pilot. "Name's Wilson."

"Good. Ah, you're the one who paid for you and your friends. " the pilot replied in an Australian accent. "Have a seat, have a seat!"

Wilson sat down.

"William Van Daan at your service." Van Daan said. "We are currently flying over Kentucky, soon to be Missouri."

"Cool. How much longer do you predict 'til we reach Las Vegas?"

"A few hours. More than 4." Van Daan said. "Your friend back there, with the limp," he said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. "How'd he do that?"

"House was so unlucky that he got an infarction. Muscle death." Wilson replied. "They could have-would have- cut off his leg, if it wasn't for his ex-wife, who was his wife back then. The only symptom was pain."

Van Daan nodded. "You're doctors, then?"

It was Wilson's turn to nod.

The co-pilot stuck his head in the cockpit and asked, "I'm brewing some coffee, you want some?" "Black, double sugar." Wilson said. The captain ordered the same.

* * *

The plane suddered. House sneezed and looked at the window at the dark, gloomy clouds. "Eh...nasty storms." he said, rubbing his nose with a handkerchief. A streak of blue lighting flashed across the sky followed by a second, more closer, flash of lighting.

The intercom clicked on, followed by the voice of the captain. "Hello, this is your pilot speaking. We are changing course to avoid the storm, which may shorten the trip a tad."

House glanced over at Cameron, who was looking out the window, his cane laying in between her legs. He smacked her leg and said and little loudly, "I just love those thighs of yours." He grabbed her cane and stood up.

* * *

Stacy watched Cameron and House questionably. Just as questionably as Wilson had. Except, it was different. Like when you watch your boyfriend or girlfriend walk off with another guy/girl at a party. Of course, House had never been hers, but she had wished so many times it had been House next to her in bed, instead of Mark. She was jealous. Something she didn't want to admit to just anybody, especially House. He'd make fun of her or make some smug, rude comment. House limped past her, his cane tapping her ankle as he passed her. He vanished behind the curtain where the co-pilot was making coffee. She smoothed out her khaki pants and stood up, following House. She went behind the curtain. House was bent over a sink, washing his hands. His cane was on the tabletop next to him. He glanced at her.

"So glad you could follow me- hey, wait, I thought I was the spy!" he exclaimed, smug as ever.

"House," Stacy said, "what's going on?"

"I called you here because the co-pilot wants a porno video and I thought we'd have a quick fu-" House started.

"I did no such thing!" the co-pilot interrupted in a British accent.

"Shut up, I was trying to be comedic." House said, turning the water off and grabbing a towel.

Stacy looked disgusted. "Why are you washing your hands?"

"They were dirty. And rough." he said, smirking.

"Who is it?" she asked. "A hooker? Cuddy? God, no... Cameron?"

House barely flinched as he heard Cameron's name.

"Cameron? How?" she continued.

"Who's Cameron?" the co-pilot said.

"Go fly the plane." House said. The co-pilot promptly left, leaving House and Stacy alone.

"You can't just pick someone you haven't hurt already?" she said. House rested his hand on his cane. "You have to pick Cameron, someone you've already rejected! You're going to hurt her again!"

"I-"

"You're just gonna use her, discard her, and leave her to pick up the pieces, then move on to the next defenseless-"

House gripped the cane tightly and slammed it down. "I love her, dammit." he hissed. Stacy stared, mouthing "what?".

"You have your answer, now go."

TBC

the OTHER imposter production


	8. Wild Nights and Morning Frights

**Chapter 7 - Strobe Lights, Wild Nights, and Morning Frights**

"Differential diagnosis for depression." House said slowly, opening the door with his cane. Wilson and Cameron turned around to look at him. House looked past them at the view over the balcony.

"What?" Wilson asked.

"Are you depressed?" Cameron asked.

"How could I be depressed with you in here, not wearing a bra?" House replied, grinning smugly. He walked to a chair and sat down. Cameron looked down at her chest, seeing if House was right, which he was. "Stacy's heading home. Guess she couldn't handle staying away from dear ol' Mark."

A silence settled over them. He held the end of his cane and opened the door to the balcony. "Let the party begin!"

* * *

The techno music blasted out over the pulsating crowd. The lights were dimmed except for the green, red, and blue lights that went of out over the clubbers. The music intensified and smoke poured out of smoke machines, making the green lasers that were shooting out over the crowd able to be seen. Teenagers and adults alike drank, danced, and made love all over the club. Even an oncologist drank something this night. That oncologist just happened to be Dr. James Wilson, M.D., who was not drunk. House, of course, was a different story. He slammed down his empty shot glass and demanded another. 

"Gregg, you've had enough." Cameron yelled over the music.

House laughed.

"You had eight!" she continued.

"You...YOU HAVEN'T HAD ENOUGH!" he yelled. He grabbed his refilled tequila glass into her hands. "Drink, damn you!"

The bartender gave House another glass and he and Cameron clinked glasses. "To your stunning ass." he said.

She laughed and drank the tequila down in one gulp. They put their empty glasses down at the same time. House slipped an arm around her waist, pulled her roughly onto him, and kissed her long and hard.

The music changed to a pulsating beat that could be felt in the floor. The now flickering strobe lights added to the music, making time seem to slow down. Wilson sat down his half-empty bottle of Sam Adam's beer and held up his hand, watching the effects of the strobe lights. _It could cause seizures, _he thought to himself. He lowered his hand and watched House and Cameron make out. Their kiss continued into the "get-a-room" zone. Wilson perked up, stood up, and went to House and Cameron.

"House, do you intend to screw her?" he asked. "Now?"

House and Cameron nodded.

"You're drunk."

They acknowledged. House spoke up and said, "No better way to fuck then to fuck when drunk!"

* * *

House shoved his cane against Cameron's waist and forced her against the wall, kissing her hard. Her hands found their way into his messy hair as she grinded her hips against his. She grabbed his cane, jerked it out of his hands, and tossed it to the side. He let out a quiet growl as he jerked her shirt over her head and let it drop behind him. She was as turned on as she could get. She groaned and push House back onto the bed and climbed on him. 

"Damn it, Ally!" House growled, as she out her knees on each of his legs, sitting on him. She worked quickly to take off his pants so she could get to what she really wanted.

* * *

House opened his eyes slowly, sun flooding his vision. He squeezed his eyes shut again, a massive headache making itself known. He groaned and mumbled, "Fuck a duck..." He groped around for his vicoden. He found none. 

"Never heard you say fuck so many times in one night." Cameron said, sitting on the edge of the bed. House opened his eyes slowly, squinting at her. She wore only satin robe, where only he had a thin sheet covering up his pubic area.

"You remembered. Huh?" he mumbled.

"I wasn't drunk." she replied, standing up and walking to his side of the bed. Her satin robe was now open.

"Screw you."

She leaned down and placed a sensual kiss on his lips. "You already did." She smiled and sat on the floor in front of him, her robe slipping off her shoulders.

"Where is my vicoden?"he asked.

She stifled a laugh. "You threw it out the window." she said. "You said that I was your pain medicine."

"I'm an idiot."

"You're an idiot who needs a shower." she said, smirking.

"So do you." he said, smirking back.

* * *

Wilson turned the TV's volume up as the shower turned on in the room next to his. The room next to his was House's room. 

_Thump._

House and hooker's room maybe. Wilson turned off the power to the TV and stood up. He had room 417, House had room 416, and Cameron had 415. Walking to the door, he grabbed his jacket and threw it on. He poked his head out the door.

_A teen couple, a Latino maid, and some guy with a beard. Seems safe._

He stepped out and collided with woman. He apologized immediately and she walked off to the elevator. He went past House's room and to Cameron's room. He knocked on the door. Nothing. Again. Nothing. Again, again. He tried looking through the peep hole. _Stupid idea._ Knock again. Bang again. Nothing again. He sighed and thought for a moment. In a sudden flash a brilliance he said aloud, "Food... Continental breakfast." He shrugged, turned around, and pressed the down button for the elevator. He repeated the word "left", as if he was willing the left one to open up. The one on the right opened up with a ding.

Down in the lobby, the only person he recognized was the beard man was the fourth floor. Wilson glanced around, and figured that Cameron had left the hotel. The aroma of breakfast filled his nostril. His stomach growled.

* * *

A cup of coffee in one hand and a small tray of food in the other, Wilson slipped into his room. House's shower had stopped. _Thank God for small mercies. _He sat on the bed and started to sip his coffee. Just as he did so, he heard someone from room 416 scream his friend's name. It wasn't House and a hooker's room, it was House and a Cameron's room. Of course! How could he have been so close-minded? 

_Because House always blew off every good thing in his life. _

* * *

The bitter, coppery taste of blood from his tongue mixed with Cameron lingered in his mouth. He licked his lips and watch Cameron slide off of him and collapse on the bed. 

"What flight do we have?" she asked, still catching her breath.

"69." House said, grinning smugly.

She rolled her eyes. "Call Wilson if you don't know."

"Fine." House said, pouting. HE picked up the phone and dialed the number. "Yeah...what's up, James? No...uh-huh...why do you ask? My leg hurts...I threw my vicodin out the window- hey, don't laugh!" Cameron suppressed a laugh. "Why what?...oh that...what flight do we have? Yes, I'm changing the subject, it's a depressing subject! ...cool, thanks...we leave in an hour- On what? A roadtrip, dumbass!" House slammed the reciever down, grinning. "Flight 666."

* * *

"Well, my friend, it's been fun." 

"House, you're talking to a building." Wilson said.

"Our hotel. It has feelings, you know. The walls have eyes." House said. "They also have great, firm, bouncy beds." He directed his look towards Cameron. "Bouncy. Mhm."

Cameron just nodded. He smiled at her and limped to the trunk of their car and put his new "Vegas-ized" cane into the trunk. The cane was complete with a sparkly(Fake Diamond City) grip, a small compartment for cash and poker chips, and another compartment for various items of the illegal kind.

"Oh yeah, House." Wilson started.

"Don't say that, you weren't in my bed last night!" House exclaimed, feigning surprise. "Or were you?"

"A maid found your vicoden."

"Yippie!"


	9. Dr House Boards Flight 815

**Chapter 8 - Dr. House Boards Flight 815 two days later **

"I want you to listen to me, okay. Because I'm asking you a favor, Crissy. I'm standing in front of you in the same suit that I'm wearing to my father's funeral and I'm asking you a favor. In 16 hours I need to land at LAX, and I need that coffin to clear customs because there's going to be a hearse waiting there." a man said loudly. House, Wilson, and the ducklings past by an all-girls soccer team. They, as in House, Wilson, and the Ducklings, had been in Australia for a day and they were leaving already.

"Kinda fussy, huh?" Duckling One(Cameron) said.

"His dad died." Duckling Two(Chase) said.

"Big whoop." House cut in.

"His dad died." Chase said in his usual caring manner. "We met him in the morgue. Died of a heart attack."

House shook his head slightly as if saying "so?".

"Its Jack Shepard. The Dr. Jack Shepard." Chase continued.

House shrugged.

"It's sad, Gregg." Cameron said.

House stopped limping and froze, his eyes trained on one spot- er, person. "Sad...yeah." He mumbled, all his focus directed on one person. He'd managed to get this person out of his mind for the last night, but that was all in vain.

Cameron started to ask something but he ordered without looking at her, "Go get our tickets, ticket gitter."

She followed his gaze to see the woman she had come to dislike since they'd taken off from GSP and saw House limpimp towards the woman.

---------------

Dana Bacher looked up in time to see the first cripple she actually wanted to take to bed. Her son sat impatiently beside her. They were waiting for her husband. Her mind immediately went back to House.

He pushed his free hand into his pocket and said, "Didn't expect to see you here."

"Feeling's mutual." Dana replied, standing up. She motioned for her son to stay.

--------------

"I need tickets for my friend and I." Cameron said to the Aussie girl at the counter, Crissy, the one who had been talking to Jack.

"Got 'em yet?" Foreman asked from behind her, referring to the tickets.

"Their not even for you!" she said. Foreman held up his hands in a sign of surrender and backed away.

"Your names?" Crissy asked, smiling.

"Allison Cameron and Gregory House." Cameron said.

Crissy nodded, typed something in her computer, and said, "It'll cost-"

"Bill me." Cameron said, grabbing the tickets and hurrying to House. A arm suddenly held up in front of her, stopped her and pulled her against the arm's body. She heard snickering and looked to her right to her Wilson covering up his mouth as he tried not to laugh. Chase and Foreman stood to her left which only left House. She looked up to see House's smug face.

"Boo." he said.

"I could slap you if you weren't...you." she growled.

"Where are we boarding?" Wilson asked, still grinning.

"Gate twenty-three." she said, still sulking from House's surprise attack.

"Gate 23 we go."


	10. Epilogue

Dr. House Takes a Road Trip

Summary: Self-explanatory. Prequel to LOST crossover. Minor LOST crossover. Later in the story though.

Rating: M, just to be safe.

Genre: Humor/Adventure/Romance.

Notes to Note: House/Cameron.

Epilogue

As Oceanic Flight 815 rose into the blue sky, Cameron couldn't shake off the feeling of dread...and a tingling feeling in her stomach. Looked away from the window she was looking out and glanced down at her purse. She zipped it open slightly, just enough to see the box the pregnancy test came in, the actual test next to it. The test that had tested _positive_. She dreaded telling House. He could be outraged that _she _didn't use protection. Again, he could joyous. As an hour passed, she debated whether to or not to tell House. She looked over at him and put her hand on his just as the plane had some minor turbulence. She gasped quietly and grasped his hand tightly.

He grinned. looking over at her, and said, "Those bumps: quite a doozy, huh?"

She grinned and breathed out a laugh, nodding. She really had to go to the restroom...after she told House.

"Gregg...I need to say something to you." she said seriously.

"Well, what is it, Ally?" he asked.

"I'm, uh, I'm-"

The plane shook with massive turbulence, interrupting her, and sending the plane down towards the water...

fade to red

and we want everything to end  
just like Nostradamus said  
everything is left for dead, fade to red

in the gust of the wind on your back  
in your gut, in the tracks of your mind  
this is how it ends  
everywhere there is hope  
there is oblivion

and we want everything to end  
just like Moses said  
everything is parted then, fade to red

in the crest of a wave, on the fields of a plain  
in a faraway land its all the same  
even when there is love  
there is also hate

and when the sun breaks through the dark ( we know we're close to it)  
and when the son shines through my heart ( i know i'm close to it, close to it)

from the words of a mystic monk  
to a drunk on the edge of a nightmare  
so it is  
everywhere there is joy  
there is also dread  
from the throne of a militant king with the wings of the fallen and they start to sing  
"inside i am just like you..."

PREVIEW OF oblivion, THE SEQUEL-

A clock ticked lazily in the corner of the room. Slow piano music drifted into the living room, which was abandoned. The same could be said for the rest of the rooms, except for the one with the piano. The actual piano wasn't the source of the music, it hadn't been touch in weeks. The music was emitted from the speakers. It was too perfect, to peaceful. Gregg House sat in a chair, wearing glasses as he read, unaware if the real madness in his life; in his head. Setting down the book, he grabbed his cane and stood up, leaning heavily on his cane. His cane sudden seemed to fade and phase, and House's hand fell right through the cane. His world tipped and the music sputtered and died. He hit the ground hard, sending his nearly non-existent cane rolling. It rolled and stopped at the feet of a woman. It became solid again as her hand touched and wrapped around it.

"No!" he protested, struggling to sit up. Gravity seemed to get more heavier. "Give it back to me!"

Stacy Warner stood in the doorway, her face registering nothing. She held out the cane and said in a voice that was disembodied, "Do you want this?"

Her words echoed in his head and he was suddenly overwhelmed by pain from his leg. He screamed an answer, tears forming in his eyes, "YES!"

"If that's how you wish it." Stacy said. Her clothes were suddenly torn, past the brink of them falling off, her hair messed up, and her skin caked with mud and the occasional streak of blood. She dropped the cane and her eyes rolled into the back of her head. House stared into the blank white eyeballs and screamed. The room flickered quickly, then faded away, leaving House to fall into oblivion...

OBLIVION

a MA-HER-SHALAL-HASH-BAZ production

the OTHER imposter

...coming this summer to a computer near you...


End file.
